Do As You Please

This is your and your future spouse's wedding so do as you damn well please! I will admit that etiquette is important but sometimes you have to say "to hell" with tradition and make your wedding about you as a couple. Decide what is really important to you and make it happen.

Personal examples:

• E and I had 3 beautiful little girls who were very important in our lives but no little boys at the same level. So we chose to have 3 flower girls but no ring bearer.

• When we first started planning the wedding I saw a photo of flower girls wearing beautiful white tutus and completely fell in love with the idea. We tweaked it a little though and chose to have each little girl in a tutu that went with our colors (pink, yellow, and orange). When I received my First Communion my aunt made me a flower wreath to wear in my hair and I wanted our little flower girls to have the same experience so we ordered head wreaths with flowers from the bouquets to be made for each little girl.
• I have been blessed to have a loving father as well as a loving step-father and I wanted both to be a part of my walk down the aisle. I chose to have my father begin by taking my arm and escorting me halfway down the aisle where we paused and my step-father joined us and took my other arm and the three of us walked the rest of the way down the aisle arm-in-arm. I chose to do this to symbolize my father being there for the beginning of my life and then my step-father coming in halfway through and so the moment I reached E at the end of the aisle I was escorted by both my father's. 

• We had the traditional father/daughter and mother/son dances but E and I wanted to also honor how important our step-parents are in our lives so we added a step-parent dance where I danced with my step-father while Eric danced with his step-mother. As I danced with my step-father he pointed out how my mom was watching us and mentioned that he thought she was jealous that he got to dance with me, at the same moment we both motioned for my mom to join us and so the three of us swayed and danced the rest of the dance away. Who says a dance is only for two? I would not have changed that dance for anything in the world.

 E and his step-mom dancing

Me and my step-dad dancing together.

Me, my step-dad, and mom dancing together.

• I decided early on while planning the wedding that I did not want to throw my bouquet, instead I wanted to present it to my grandparents. My grandparents have been married for over 50 years and are a beautiful example of love and marriage. I wanted to honor them and their love by presenting my real bouquet (not a tossing bouquet). 

 About to throw my bouquet.

Fake out.

Presenting my bouquet to my grandfather (my grandmother was in the bathroom).

• Halfway through planning our wedding one of my dear friends passed away suddenly. I was devastated by the loss, especially because the last thing we talked about together was the wedding. It crushed my heart knowing that she would not be there in person to share the day with us. This reinforced my decision to not toss my bouquet because I felt that it would be unfair because not all beautiful single girls would be present to have a chance to catch it. As a symbol of this I had an extra bouquet made and took it over to her family two days before the wedding and took some time talking about her, how much she meant to me, and how much I wanted to include her in our day and honor her. We also took some special time before the ceremony to light a candle for her.

• My maid-of-honor decided to skip her college graduation in order to be a part of our wedding weekend. I was crushed that she gave up such a milestone for me but I wasn't havin it. I found out what her school colors were and what tassel she would have worn to represent her department. I then got a hold of a cap in her school colors, went down to the local university and purchased a tassel for her graduating department (kinda weird how easy that was), and set it up with the DJ. When toasts were over and my Maid-of-honor thought her time in the spotlight was over the DJ asked her to report to the dance floor, I was standing there waiting for her and placed the cap onto her head, the DJ then played the Graduation March and made her cross the stage, I then instructed her to move her tassel from the right to the left, the DJ announced her as graduated, and her parents ran up to congratulate her. She later told me that she had never felt so special in her whole life.

• Another fantastic celebration occurred the day of our wedding that we wanted to recognize. Our friend came to our wedding even though it was his birthday. The DJ announced his birthday and had everybody sing Happy Birthday to him before eating cake. It was wonderful!
• Chicken or fish? Chicken or fish? FORGET THAT! I love me some mac-n-cheese so we had two different kinds served at our wedding! There was a plain cheddar mac for the kiddos and a gourmet mac for the adults with bacon, spinach, and tomatoes. It's your wedding, and after watching what you eat to look on your day you deserve to eat what you want!

• E and I love a little local patisserie and would go there for many dates. It was an obvious choice when choosing a wedding cake but what flavor would we choose?! Hell, we chose 3! We had carrot cake (no raisins) with white chocolate ginger mousse, chocolate cake with chocolate mousse and chocolate ganache, and a red velvet cake with raspberry compote center covered in whipped cream and coconut. The guests loved it and loved the chance to try multiple cakes.

• In college my best friend's father lived part-time with them and he would be there most weekends. Now, I enjoyed a nice mixed drink in college as most do but Papa taught me how to take a whiskey shot when he started up the tradition of "Friday Night Shots". Papa would come home with a bottle of Bush Mills Black Bush whiskey and we would celebrate the weekend. For our wedding we asked our reception site to special order a bottle of Black Bush and a large group of us went out into the lobby and continued our tradition of Friday night shots (seeing as the wedding was on a Friday night) with a group toast of whiskey. There were many amazing memories from our wedding and this one ranks right up there with the best of the best.

•  My grandfather passed away before I ever had a chance to meet him but I was always told that he loved ketchup on his spaghetti and smoking cigars. In honor of my grandfather we decided to have a cigar bar at our wedding. My dad provided the cigars and the reception site allowed us to all go out on their balcony and smoke a few. I think that some of our more stunning photos came from that experience.